Figuring it all out!

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I can't believe we have had Lauran over a month. Last week began some struggles with Lauran. I am having a hard time figuring out what she is wanting. She seems fussy a lot and I am desperately trying to figure out what the fussing means. I know...with little kids you can never figure it all out. I also know once you think you have them figured out, they go and change what you thought you already had figured out. Go figure!!??? Yes...pun intended :)

Anyways, the past couple weeks have been a challenge. Her sleeping and eating have both been very difficult. Eating in particular has been completely confusing. I have to keep reminding myself that all of it is new to her. But there are foods she seemed to love that she ate a few times and now completely refuses. She was eating better the week following her transfusion and even though she may not be at the point of needing one, I wonder if the eating is tied to her anemia. One of my many questions I have regarding her blood disorder. She seems to be back on her meat kick again. It is really all she wants. Meat and eggs. She will eat a little bit of some other things here and there but not much. There have been several occasions were she broke out in tears when she saw the meal I put in front of her.

There are some days where she just seems very whiny all the time. A lot of it seems like it is when she is hungry but then she doesn't want to eat anything I offer her. I know there are communication gaps happening still. She is understanding more of what I say and does repeat English but rarely will use an English word to ask for something or to communicate with us. She is also sharing more of her 2 yr old behavior...having very loud tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants.

Aside from the challenges though she is still very lovable, cuddly and funny! She loves to be a helper and put things away. I have seen many more cute moments with her and Megan where they genuinely interact and play together. We feel blessed, but it is a hard transition right now. Things have definitely been challenging at our house. There are days when I do not feel equipped to handle all of it. I know eventually it will get better as I figure out her medical issues and as she learns English and communication improves...but it is hard. God keeps reminding me when I feel like I am going off the deep end and sometimes after I go off the deep end, that He will be the strength to get me through it. His power will work through me to get through the struggle. This verse came to mind:

1Corinthians 12: 9-10
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So today, I boast(rather than be frustrated) in the fact that I am going through a difficult time and that I am not equipped to handle it all. I am definitely feeling weak!! But thankfully Christ, whom I serve and love promises to be my strength! I am so glad that God allows me to be honest about my difficulties. That I do not have to pretend I have it all together. He gave me a heart for orphans and has called our family to adopt. He knew we were not perfect parents and as we go through the process I want to keep pointing to the ONE who provides for us daily and works through our family daily. It is because of Christ and the grace he has shed on us and the work he does through us that we are able to do any of this!

Please continue to pray we lean on HIM and continue to pray for Lauran's health as we process all the details and medical care!